|
New here, hoping to find some family I can lean on
|
|
Hi All,
My name is Andrew, I'm a 32 year old Graphic/Web/Print designer who has been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 9 years coming up in July! We have 2 gorgeous baby girls and they are Lyla Mckenna (age 5) and Avery Elizabeth (Age 2).
I recently started listening to DAB on my commute into work everyday, I have been listening daily for about 2 weeks now and I can't tell you how amazing it is to see, hear and experience the faith and community DAB has sparked.
I am a believer though I will admit, not the best follower and for that I'm ashamed each day. I let the enemy get into my spirit and formulate bad habits or responses and it wreaks havoc on my life as well as my families....Im ready for this to stop. I have not had the best childhood or life moments thus far and I use it as an excuse to get angry sometimes but Im trying to remember... who truly doesn't have an issue? Everyone has a little something going on everyday.
Just to give you insight into my story I will attempt to make it short and as sweet as possible. I lost my mother at the age of 7 years old, she died of cancer of the brain. Shortly after my father's drinking got even worse as he could not handle the loss of my mother I'm assuming - when I was 12 years old he died of alcoholism and cirrhosis of the liver. By the time I was 12 I had lost both parents who to this day I don't truly know because I was too busy being a kid and being selfish like some kids can be and just always wanting to play play play. My only brother who at the time was 22 years old and had his first child with his wife took me in to live with them. It was a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, they didn't make much money but they made it work. Eventually over time they got a decent house and we moved. By the time I was in high school I was pretty much taking care of myself as much as possible because I didn't want to be a burden on them. They gave me the roof to live under and I used my hands and feet to live. To this day I could never repay them for taking me in...
I put myself through college and got my Associates degree in Graphic Design.
Eventually my girlfriend and I got married, bought a condo of our own and started a family. When the economy took a hit and because we were truthfully young and not valuing the cost of money like we should have the company I had been with for 10 years closed its doors. During this period a lot of compromise had to happen because we had already taken a pay cut (twice) and then were docked mandatory days off no pay just to stay afloat. We ended up losing our home and have been renting house to house ever since.
Fast forward to the last year and half. This has been the MOST challenging year and half for me in my life... maybe it's because I'm older now, hold higher expectations of myself and just want to be the best father, husband and follower I can be. On April 13th, 2014 I lost my only sibling and someone who I see now was a huge piece of my heart. My only brother was murdered trying to defend a homeless man from being jumped by a group of guys. He left behind his wife and 3 kids... The following January (8 months later) our family dog of almost 9 years had gotten very ill suddenly and after extensive tests and X-rays we were told he had cancer and a large tumor. We didn't have the $7,000 to pay for the surgery, we didn't even have the $1,200 it took just for the tests and to put him to rest. Family helped us and we borrowed and had to put him down...
Then as if things couldn't get any worse on our hearts and faith, my oldest daughter Lyla ( whom I truly believe was blessed by our god and watched over by his angels and my family) had a severe head trauma accident. She had a 18 foot fall from a second story window one day waiting for me to come home and fell straight onto our cement driveway. Had she not woken up on her own and come to the front door my wife would have never known it happened because she was getting our other daughter down for a nap. Lyla ended up having a skull fracture and the short of it is she had to have an emergency craniotomy and the pediatric nuerosurgery department. Now if you have kids and have never had any doctor ask you what your child's advanced directive is, well than I envy you. That was one of the scariest things I have ever been asked. Two weeks in ICU and many scary up and down moments from consciousness to losing concisousness and not remember her name or who I was, God answered a lot of peoples prayers and healed my baby girl. She since then has been making a full recovery and as of yesterday her neurosurgeon is comfortable with not seeing her again until the 6 month- 1 year mark.
What I am getting at, is I desperately need help, guidance, and faithful hands to walk with. I can't do this life on my own anymore, I have my immediate family but I need to have a more solid faith and a truer sense of ministry I feel to connect with God on a personal level. I can honestly say, I do believe...just not sure how to be a faithful believer in his eyes. I feel lost and now because of everything Ive endured financial situations have hit a head and I'm waking each day with the same fear and anxiety I have before.
I pray to make some good family on here and I also pray any of you with advice or wisdom wouldn't mine helping me on my journey. I am going to have to go through a storm of fears and consequences from trying to keep my family afloat and start to make some hard decisions but I am hopeful that I can surpass this point in my life and begin building a future for my kids as well as make my marriage and faith even stronger.
Thank you and I'm sorry for rambling on..
Your brother in christ,
Andrew
|
|
Andrew Reed 06/11/2015 12:18 |
|
| |
JT
|
06/12/2015 12:55 |
Oh my gosh brother. After reading this you are truly an inspiration. I can just feel that God has such great purpose for you. Continue to dive into the word everyday like you are. The Holy Spirit is upon you and will give you the wisdom that you need. The calmness and comfort that you long for. They talk about how God will never give anyone more than they can handle... The life your having I can't seem to put in the right words... But know this it's bringing you closer to God. It's sad sometimes weird with life events that get people closer to Him...but it's for a reason. Brother please stick with this community I promise you it will forever change your life. God is good. He just wants a personal loving relationship with us all.
Please think about posting your message on the prayer wall Andrew. I'm not sure how many people read this forum. We have a lot of prayer warriors over there.
|
|
Print