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Stories from the Front Lines
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bradley
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10/23/2009 19:20 |
I was not a good man when I dated my wife. I cheated all the time. Then we got married (I'm surprised she married me) and I thought I'd never cheat after I got married but I did. The hurt I've caused her is always a scar on her heart. Our marriage survived all that I did, which is a complete miracle. She faithfully stayed by my side and I love her for it. Just as she was giving up on me I had a change in my life. I wanted to stay and work on our relationship. I thought the grass was greener on the other side, but let me tell you it's not. We both started going to church and our marriage grew stronger. If God isn't in the center of your lives it will be hard to win. It scares me at how close we were from getting a divorce. We've got 5 kids, 2 cats, 2 dogs and a great job. My life is full and I'm very content!! So put God first and your life will be filled.
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April 'nvcatlover'
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10/23/2009 20:49 |
Amen to that Brad!! ps..I'm glad you stayed and worked on your marriage. So many people (christians too) just walk away and never experience the joy that God will bring if you put him in the center of your marriage. God Bless you and your wife! (((Hugs))) April <><
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Mark
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10/28/2009 11:00 |
What a story! My wife and I have been separated 4 months and yesterday she told me there's no hope, there's no turning back. I've been praying in earnest for reconciliation and peace, but everyone around me keeps saying that I need to move on. Even my Christian friends are telling me that.
I don't believe in coincidences, but rather in "God-incidences." I think God led me to this forum and your message precisely today, when I think there's no hope. I will continue to pray for my wife and for me. I have issues I'm working on and I don't think it's "all her fault," but I pray she will see what changes need to be made in herself.
Your message is real encouragement for me. God bless you, your husband, and your family.
Mark
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Michael Teague
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10/29/2009 01:25 |
Mark,
Don't give up. Go see a Christian marriage counselor. If your wife won't go with you, go alone.
My wife and I really close to divorce about 30 months ago. My wife had an addiction problem and it was destroying both of us and our kids. We finally started seeing a counselor and it change my life. I can tell this. You cannot change your wife. You can only change your reaction to her. Read Ephesians 5 and 1 Cor 13. Make sure you are trying to love your wife the way Christ loves you. This is the first step.
There is always hope. Don't give up.
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Michael Teague
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10/29/2009 01:26 |
I should have posted that my wife has been clean for 28 months now. She is truly a miracle.
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April 'nvcatlover'
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11/09/2009 18:53 |
Mark and Michael....I'm so glad that you are both putting God in the center of your marriage's. The only way mine survived was by my complete surrender and dying to self and staying emersed in the Word. God wants your marriages to withstand even more than you do. Michael, you are right on target about not trying to change your spouse...I expended many years trying to fix mine and until I let go and gave all of my pain and disapointments to God, nothing changed. I found that God really had a plan for my life and I needed to fill my mind with the truth of His Word and claim His promises for me. I quit focusing on Craig and our problems and began to be about our Fathers business and let Him work out the issues that each of us were holding so close to our hearts.
Michael, praise God that your wife is clean and sober!
I'm praying for you Mark....trust Jesus, no matter what the world says or how hopeless it might look. With God, nothing is EVER impossible.
Look up, and laugh, and love, and lift......God Bless, April <><
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Mamalijah
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03/05/2010 09:03 |
This is so encouraging.. Thanks for sharing..
Personally, my marriage has been a real struggle in the past 1 year. I have come very close to quitting a lot of times but thank God for His grace.
My husband and I are both believers but we both have so much gabbage from the past that is affecting our marriage.
I have prayed many times for God to change me because i have realised that i have to BE THE CHANGE I DESIRE, but sometimes it feels a lot easier to fight than pray...
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nana
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03/13/2010 21:13 |
A view from the far side.....
When you are living in the 'thick of it,' the hard days of marriage are seemingly endless and impossible. But today, I saw a different view.
This afternoon I went alone to the memorial service for a wonderful christian husband and father who died about a month ago. I've seen and spoken to his wife a few times. As I helped in the kitchen today, I had the chance to observe the loss in her eyes first hand. Their 40 years together, now ended. My husband is physically out of town this weekend but God willing, we'll be together tomorrow night. And that got me to thinking....I remember when we met, became friends, started dating, then married. I'd think to myself, he's someone really special and he's one handsome guy too, isn't he?! But lately, I've begun to look, I mean REALLY look, at my husband and I'm stunned. He still wears levis, only one size up from when we met and his loafers are almost identical to our first dates. So, when exactly did his hair begin to turn gray and the furrows in his face become etched? And then I realize that I don't, I CAN'T see him apart from my heart. I love him more with the passing of the days each year. He truly is my best friend and my breathing in and I his breathing out...it's a closeness only God could have created. Sometimes when people look at us they presume that being married to each other is easy. I laugh. If they only knew....it's NOT! Some days, weeks, months and what seemed like years I'd felt like saying "I'd rather be married to Atilla the Hun than him." It's a battle and oft times hard won but the difference was, and is, that he and I weren't the only ones in the battle. Nor were we alone in getting married and committing to our marriage covenant. The real saving grace has been that we both recognized our marriage is a 3-way: Him, Jesus and me. During some of the tough times like when he was transferred or we moved yet again (25+ times), or when I had to find another job on the bottom rung (12+)--- I wanted, I mean REALLY wanted to QUIT. Then there were the many years of required and sometimes dangerous overtime hours. I furiously told myself "No one should have to live like this!" But somehow having to explain to the Lord how I was going to dump "my portion" of the marriage covenant poked a hole in the force of my anger, discouragement, fear or exhaustion. They were never able to equal for any length of time what I've seen Jesus bring to, and into us over the days, weeks, months, and years of our covenant life together. So rather than pointing to any wisdom on my part (I can't claim any), let me encourage and caution you who are tredging through the deep troughs a marriage faces. First, there is no one more on your side than Jesus. And NO ONE who knows or loves you and that impossible spouse more than Jesus does. I can't tell you the number of times I've sat down and wailed it out with Jesus before bowing to his love and wisdom. Yet, it has almost always been AFTER I let go that the AMAZING happens. Second, as I saw in my husband's face and in the look in my neighbor's eyes today, I realized again, time is very short. Use prayer and study, to let Jesus introduce you to and teach you about the child "he" loves. He will give you insight into a spouse you've yet to know, a treasure waiting to be uncovered. Lest you think all our battles are over, guess again! Real marriage is NEVER boring when 3 are in the covenant. What I'm sharing with you are pieces of the treasure Jesus is still oncovering for me within the man to whom I'm married.
NKJ James 4:14.....whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow.
For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
Jesus loves you and has treasure for you both waiting to be discovered!
-Nana
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April 'nvcatlover'
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03/14/2010 00:06 |
Laura, I'm so glad that you didn't give up on your marriage! Trust Jesus to heal the hurts from both of your pasts, I know it's hard, but He is faithful to complete what He began in both of you. In my original post, I shared some of my story and I know that Jesus can heal the impossible. I'm proud of you for not taking the easy way out!!
Nana....what a beautiful and real vision of marriage you have brought to the forum. Your love for your husband shines in every word you wrote, even in the bad times. Thank you for encouraging me with your story!
God Bless you both!
~April~
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Cheryl Lynn
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06/07/2013 14:16 |
I pray what the Lord has done in your marriages, He will do in mine. I am separated now and miss my husband so much. But I know that I can't continue to enable him in his addictions. My hope is he will seek help, preferably from the Lord, but I would go back if he sought any kind of help. Even with all the pain and tears, I still love him and the potential he has should he so choose. Sadly, his addictions have caused so much fall out, that I have to stay away in order to protect myself from the darkness that surrounds him. When I'm around him, the darkness feels so thick it is actually claustrophobic. I endure severe anxiety and depression when we are together. I have even fallen into joining him in his sins. My heart aches with my own sin now as well as the loss of my husband and the sadness I am now struggling with.
I continually hope in the Lord and am so grateful for all the blessings He has poured on me during this troubling time. I don't know what the future holds, but again, I hope and pray that God will do the same work in my marriage as He has so graciously done in your marriages.
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