The Long Walk 2010

Replies: (page   1   2)
Calico 07/09/2010 12:35
Thanks, sister,

"Ouch" about this; that you "have struggled with the same kinds of fears." It's like a piercing, isn't it? It hurts, and it impedes, because of the way that the pain of the wound saps strength.

I suppose those are the times where we must most fully rely on Christ's Spirit for sustaining, amen?

God be with you, also, Yoli-Ann...

Hugs,

Tom
jackoslife 07/09/2010 16:40
Whew - that sounds like a day of getting control. Grip the rudder, grit your teeth and Full Steam Ahead Brother!!

So glad for the start of rationalizing the situation and giving yourself some room to move. Enjoy the walk, knowing that, on this other part of the world, I tread a similar path.

Bless you Brother.
Calico 07/10/2010 12:41
Indeed, Andrew, brother,

Thanks for your words. Hugs. :-)

(BTW, loved your pics, too; Brian was only able to post one of mine on the Flickr site; the one of the old stone-brick mill house that has trees growing within it's walls, found on the Grand River)

I would think, that of all the men that I know here on DAB, perhaps you most of all (well, and Lochlain, too, I would also suppose), would know what it is like to have had a marriage and to have lost it; that is, to have "been left" even as you became fully aware of your shortcomings, and even as you clearly saw your need for proper alignment with the will of God (ie. the repentance spoken of in Jesus' words, the "metanoia" - 1.) "a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done").

Like you, as a human male that has come to that repentance (the whole, robust, change; not just the "not doing bad stuff anymore"), I find deep, deep sadness in the choices of wives to leave their husbands. If there were NO change in a man, then the Biblical allowance for leaving would seem acceptable, heck, even WISE to for a wife to do. But when the change in the innerman DOES come, and when LOVE grows... when it flows outward from him unto others... man, I dunno. For a marriage to then end, it seems sort-of (just sort-of) like a spiritual suicide, ya know??? That is, speaking of specifically of men, when one now knows HOW to be a man of God, and how to LIVE IT OUT (in ever-increasing ways that will be ongoing for a life-time), it's like, "wife of mine, please, let us now move together in as best a sync as He can guide us into; and let this relationship be completely restored and rebuilt, from the ground up."

Of course, therein lies the crux of the matter: no matter what goodness and grace God has empowered me with, I cannot MAKE anyone else do ANYTHING - even if their doing of that thing would be a good and beneficial thing. And of the things in the study Bible box that I wrote of above in my original post, I found that "hanging on to the things in the box" is somehow a way of holding on to the thought of somehow trying to see to that outcome somehow happening.

In my understandings of divorce, I find that in my situation, at least, I understand it to be like a murder. That is, that the person who leaves and ends things seems to have said "you must be done away with; but I don't have the intestinal fortitude to do it myself - YOU do it. Go away, and be dead to me, for I would now like you to 'become nothing,' so that my happiness may be unhindered by you."

All that that person has done is "killed you in their mind." And, for a person who has said that they are one follows Christ, I find that "murder" to be a confusing thing for them to do: "If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also." (1 John 4:20, 21; NAS). The person's inner-self (at least as best as what I can understand of what seems to be their inner-self) does not match up with the character of Christ that He can impart to them through what He teaches and spiritually equips with.

Throughout all of Scripture, all I can see is a plan and a method for reconciliation; firstly God reconciling us unto Him, and then us being active in living-out the reconciliation Jesus teaches unto each of us in our relationships with others. I had longed to live-out that same sort reconciliation in my marriage, but by my ex-wife's choice, it does not seem that it will ever be. Thus, that is what the day of The Long Walk was for me, the classic "let go, and let God" motif that we so often here of in modern Christian teaching.

"So glad for the start of rationalizing the situation and giving yourself some room to move." Amen, brother, amen. My thanks for your encouragement...

..."Enjoy the walk, knowing that, on this other part of the world, I tread a similar path." I hear you, and pray the same spiritual encouragement for you, Andrew.

"Joy is not solely emotional happiness, but is a pervasive sense of well-being in God amidst any and all situations that one may encounter." - Dallas Willard, from "Knowledge Of Christ In Today's World"

Blessings, praying with you,

Tom
Craig from Illinois 07/11/2010 08:15

Tom - Thank you so much for that detailed walk and background. Also, your passion for welcoming and encouraging all who are seeking community here is a blessing. I consider you a role-model in that capacity. I also appreciate your apologetics. As time goes by and conversations continue, I look forward to having our friendship mature and my understanding of Christ increase because of your contributions.

Your friend and brother,

Craig from Illinois

John Wilson 07/11/2010 19:07
Tom,

Thank you for sharing your story. Some of the things you said really hit home.

Have a blessed day.
TerrieB 07/11/2010 20:46
Thanks for sharing your story Tom.
Servant-Ken 07/12/2010 20:48
Tom,

This is amazing.

There are times in our lives when we completely realize that the things happening in our lives are of God. I went through a job change recently (not for the better) where all things happening seemed impossible or unlikely in the order and reason they happened. It was for me to realize I needed to trust HIM in this area of my life.

You wrote: "leave the timing and outcomes of all things to Me... Only if you are faithful with the little things that I've given you can I give you more."

This is the way it is for me also. He is trying to make me trust Him. He is putting these events in my life so I have no other choice but trust Him.

I hope some day I will be able to understand all that has taken place recently. As you will see one day Tom, this was a mountain top experience. As Paul said in Corinthians 13: I now only see dimly.
Kelley 07/16/2010 00:26
Since I have walked this last year beside you in one sense or another I just want to say how amazed I am by you, every single day. Where I rush in with my mind full of chatter and opinions on various threads on DAB, I see you sit back, and really think about and see the person you are addressing. I have heard you read posts out loud, and hear the pauses as you think about each sentence before continuing. Even in the pain of this last year, you treat every person with gentleness, you care about their hearts and their hurts, you take the time to try to understand the ground they are standing on. I just admire you, Tom. Becuase I know that the long walk for you isn't just your own, but that you are also walking beside so many others, and each one is a load you gently carry, a carefully interact with. Wherever God is leading you, to counseling, or anything else you are already a wounded healer. You make a difference everywhere you go. I am blessed to be so often the recipient of the thoughts of your heart. Keep walking, Calico. May storms thrill you and sunshine bless you. May the seasons unfold around you displaying God's grace. May your own heart be healed as you obediently become the healer.
Yoli-Ann 01/06/2011 16:59
Tom,
Stand to Reason and The Defenders? LOVE IT!!!!!

Thanks!
Tammy 07/08/2011 14:09
Tom,
Wow, my heart was really touched. I think you would be a wonderful counselor. You have helped me and my husband tremendously, just by being there and listening. Love you, my brother!
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