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Need Encouragement?
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Sarcasm and Gossip
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I haven't posted here since I joined some months back. I'm a little hesitant to put this out there, to be honest. I'm not even sure I'm putting this on the right board, but here goes. I've titled this thread with two things I struggle with. I'm known in my circle of friends as someone who's pretty good at making people laugh. I enjoy doing that and I work really hard at keeping a good sense of humor. A lot of times, the joking is harmless and good natured. Too often though, it's not. I can be sarcastic and downright mean spirited. Let's be honest here, mean is often funny, that's why there are stand up comics that base their whole careers on saying spiteful things. It sells. I know it's wrong what I'm doing, I know I've hurt people. I've read books on taming the tongue, I've prayed about it, asking God to help me control what I say, but when the joke or the sarcastic comment is right there and I know it will earn me a laugh, almost invariably I say it. This is the first time I've ever sought others imput on this and I've tried to be very honest and not try to excuse myself. I am ashamed of many of the things I've said but I just can't seem to stop. Has anyone here had experience in this area they'd be interested in sharing?
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 Seeker 08/12/2010 01:51 |
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madeline
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08/12/2010 03:21 |
I completely know what your saying. I think this is probably one of those tests from god to see how strong your faith in him is. Do you give into what you shouldnt for the personal satisfaction of making others laugh or do you keep quiet because its the right thing to do. I think there is a middle ground within this, maybe this is a cross roads of humor for you as it seems to be an important factor in your life (i strongly empathize with you on this, as it is much a part of mine too). There are many types of humor, maybe our world finds insulting others funny because the level of godless individuals and misguided souls. but coming from my newly found spiritual awakening ive found a lot of myself has had to change for the good of my relationship to god, including my humor the way i talk the way i think a lot of characteristics that make me an "interesting individual". no matter what though, if you can make others laugh there's no doubt in my mind you can do it with a more wholesome outlook, just trust in yourself and above all else trust in god. Maybe this means changing your friends, and the ones who are your real friends will stay but its better to hold god higher than anything, or anyone. If you trust that god will guide you in the right direction, trust in yourself that people will be entertained without insulting anyone and everything you want to become, make your mind believe god will make this happen and it will happen. i remember hearing a similar passage on believing from the bible. Good luck, dont be too hard on yourself, no one can please everyone.
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Kelley
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08/12/2010 08:14 |
Wow I appreciate the honesty! I don't have exactly the same issue, but I do have a hard time controlling my urge to say inappropriate things when I am writing. I remember when I was younger, still living at home, my little sister offended me and I was giving her a dose of my wrath, I don't typically swear, and I never did back then, but I could make up for it in all kinds of creative verbally injuring ways. My dad took me aside and told me the look on my face was shrewish and my words were like an Irish fishwoman's (dad was Irish) and that I would never be able to keep a man if I didn't tame my tongue. He called it like it was and for some reason that really went to my heart. That was a desperate prayer I prayed back before I really even knew God... that God would help me not hurt people with my tongue. And I desperately meant it. My heart was soft, hurting people was not okay with me. After that whenever I would feel that overwhelmed feeling that made me lash out verbally (Usually a mixture of hurt and helplessness) instead I would get this lump in my throat, like I was going to cry, and I literally could not speak until the emotions dissapated. I have hated the tears, it is hard to look powerful and in control when you can't speak or you'll cry, but I still consider it an answer to prayer. I don't think my husband and I ever once exchanged words for the purpose of hurting the other. Our marriage still didn't make it but it wasn't because of my tongue! lol! I still do have to work on it with writing. I can write even with a lump in my throat or through tears. dang! But I think for me really, because it still undoes me if I think I have really hurt someone, is just to keep that awful sick feeling of having caused pain to someone in mind when that temptation comes. People might laugh or admire a witty person, but it is the people who make them feel valued and cherished who win the hearts of others and honest respect toward every human being exerts tremendous influence. Please help us all, Lord. Me too. Big time!
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Seeker
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08/12/2010 09:29 |
Madeline, Kelley, I don't have time right now to be specific, but you have both posted things that really hit the nail on the head. Thank you for your comments so far. You are both being kinder to me than I really deserve in this area. I suspect if I posted some of the things I've said here, you'd see what I mean. I need to get to work now, but I'll be back later this evening.
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