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Need Encouragement?
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feistykat
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01/19/2011 21:42 |
Well, as seems to be my pattern, I've been putting off coming here for awhile. Nice to see people still checking in with me - it's good to know I haven't been forgotten! :)
Things have been pretty difficult. Realising how quickly my biological family walks away from me, just finding it hard that they won't speak to me now and so my phone never rings. So I've pulled back from people, feeling like I have nothing to offer anyone and taking on harsh words that have been spoken to me as reality. Just feeling alone and isolating myself because I don't want to get hurt again. So mostly just sitting around, not getting anything done because I don't want to face the real world.... and I guess pulling away from God as well. I just feel so disconnected from the world right now, and disconnected from the person I really am. I know I'm squashing down the person inside and not letting myself be the person God has created myself to be out of fear, which is exactly the opposite of what I should be doing, but it's been my way of responding for so long that I just don't know how to change it. I get ideas of things I'd like to do and make plans but don't carry them out, don't even give God a chance to work in me. I really do want things to be different, but I just really don't know how. I don't want to give up. Somehow this year it's just seemed a lot easier to not try so I don't get hurt anymore. I've tried so hard, got up so many times after being kicked down so badly, and I just don't have the strength to do it anymore.
I know God can give me that strength, I just don't even know how to let Him. It's like I'm letting go of my beliefs that things WILL get better and just accepting where I am as my new reality.... which is just easier I guess. I'm just letting that part of me that's too scared to change take charge. It just so much easier to not trust, not believe, not try so I can't be let down again. Protecting myself just isn't working though because I'm not LIVING... I'm just existing... but not enjoying a single moment... just passing time...
I'm not sure what I need from this. I guess I'm just trying to find a way to reach out...
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Tom B
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01/20/2011 06:49 |
Hi Kat. I'm glad to see you are here. I pray for you regularly.
"The Joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
I hope you will experience that joy today in your life. Stop by regularly and stay in touch. We do care about you. You are special to God and to many folks here in the community. I'm praying for strength and comfort for you.
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Nana99
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01/20/2011 09:26 |
Kat,
Hello. I like reading your posts. They are so honest and real. Very vivid and lively, too, if I might add.
I actually understand a lot of what you are saying, and can’t help wondering if the sense of “falling short” as a Christian torments you more than anything else. Sometimes, we feel guiltier because there is this notion of the ideal Christian way of living in which we should always be filled with hope and love of God, never despairing, never complaining, no matter what the outward circumstances are. To that I say, easier said than done! We are here to enjoy life Jesus has given to us. We are mere mortals. None of us is that much better than the rest of us. I want us, you, me and all the struggling people out there, to relax and rest in His presence. I fall short. I know I do. But life IS hard, and some of us really struggle. We cannot afford to carry added burden of guilt.
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve got some faithful friends who would continuously pray for you. I would like here more from you, too;-)
Nana
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Sharilynbuckmaster
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01/20/2011 10:19 |
Kat, I am still praying for you. I agree with Nana. Christ has paid the price for our sin. He carried our guilt and our shame on the cross, so we would not have to feel guilty. He bore it all. I use to always feel guilty, like I fell short. Do you understand that the forgiveness through Christ shed blood means that you are set free from even the guilt and shame? What amazing grace. God's love for you is infinite. God is faithful, bring all of your cares to Him, He cares for you. God loves you Kat. We love you too.
Blessings to you.
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Tom B
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01/20/2011 10:22 |
Ah, Sara and Nana have said it so well. Amen!
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Jaren Hoffman
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01/22/2011 09:27 |
Romans 8:1, 28, 38-39 " Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Kat, I would encourage you to allow all of Romans 8 become an anthem for your life. I would also tell you (as is obvious now) that you are not alone! One final thing, God uses our past and present circumstances to bring us into closer relationship with him. Paul states that not one thing can separate us from God's love! Praying for you!
Your brother in Christ,
Jaren
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Jim
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01/22/2011 16:27 |
Hi, Kat.
I am feeling your pain and your words have really spoken to me. I will pray for you often.
I too am feeling all alone and devoid of any energy to do anything. I go to work, come home, read the bible, and go to sleep.
I spend most weekends in my house and it's a chore just to get out and shop for food.
I feel alienated by my friends who have been my life forever. I am not a Bible scholar by any means (one of the reasons I'm here), but I know that this journey we're on in Christ is a CHALLENGE! We suffer as He suffered and we will prevail as He prevailed.
This DAB community is a true Godsend for me.
Prayers and Love to you in the Great White North from the Sunny South.
j
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bonnie
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02/13/2011 01:27 |
All things are possible threw Christ who strengthens you .when world feels heavey and you can not breath remember you are child god he loves. you are never a lone even if you feel alone . lord I pray you wrap your loving arms around Kat let her feel your presence in her life joy being understanding in to her life .We love you Bonnie
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Tom B
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03/13/2011 16:36 |
Kat, how are you doing? We haven't heard from you lately. I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts as well as my continued prayer.
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gloria
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03/16/2011 02:45 |
Hey Kat how are you? I also wanted you to know you are in my prayers. The DAB community is truly a Godsend for so many. It has changed my life and many others. Don't give up on us, we are here for you, when you can let us hear from you.
Praying for you in Florida...Gloria.
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