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Moments of Clarity...Dead Leaves

“What a difference a day makes”. This is the popular phrase that has
become engrained in our society’s big book of quotes and everyday
expressions. It symbolizes the leap of extreme change or insight
brought by a few unordinary circumstances, evoking a chain reaction
of events that rock the very fibers of normalcy and routine.
On this one particular spring day, that phrase jumped out that big
book and found me in the same way, on a normal day, in a normal
atmosphere, masked in a routine phone call. Unaware of the spiritual
impact that this call would have on my life, I gullibly listened
along as my Auntie Carolyn picked up the phone and greeted my
Auntie Florence. Auntie Florence is the type of person that people
feel privileged to call family. She was the wife of my grandmother’s
brother who had recently passed away.
My keen observation, and love for putting together pieces to puzzles
finally realized that the reason my Aunt was calling was because she
had a need that her physical condition would not allow her to
accomplish on her own. The request was simple, she needed her
yard cleaned and rid of the old wet leaves that the winter season lay
caked across her lawn. She was looking for my older brother to help
her. Being that he, at the time wasn't available, I realized that I was at
a crossroad; a place where I could either be selfless or self “ish”.
Two facts floated in my head. The first fact was that she asked for my
brother, so if I didn't say a word and minded my business the task
would not land on me. Secondly, I also realized that I had a bike,
health and massive free time that at that moment allowed me to be
the most likely candidate for the cleanup. The outcome of my choice
was inevitable; I would open my mouth, and offer myself up to the
task.
As I gripped the handlebars, I positioned my feet in the grooves of
the pedal and mounted the 10 speed bike. An overwhelming sense of
gratification filled my body as I realized that this was the right thing
to do. I felt as if for some odd reason, this job was meant for me to
take on. Five minutes of pedaling led me to the doorsteps of Auntie
Florence's house. I greeted her in my normal comical way "wits and
a smile" because I loved to see her laugh at me. She began to tell of
the dire need that her yard was in, and the need for it to be groomed
for spring. She explained, "Jesse usually does all of the yard
cleaning, but since he's past, this is the first time that I had no one to
take care of it". Upon this statement, a great passion for loving her
and being her help in this stage of grief became my one goal in life.
Everything that I needed to complete this job rested in the
confinements of the garage. With a little searching I found what I
needed; the bags to hold the leaves, yard gloves to protect my skin
from nicks and scratches, and most importantly, the rake. I began
this heroic mission in the front yard, which in all actuality wasn't that
bad of a chore! The rake-up job was fairly simple and within 10 to 20
minutes I was done.
One thing I noticed while raking was how horrible the flower garden
looked. My Aunt assured me that even though I was trampling over
the dirt while using the rake to plow my way across the soil that I
need not worry because the flowers would still grow. I asked her "are
you sure auntie?", because I don't see anything down here that looks
like it’s even alive! Trusting in her wisdom, I took the two bags of
leaves that the front yard had invested, and prepared myself for the
next phase.
My Aunt went back inside, and left me to continue. Now the side of
the house had a long narrow stretch of grass, quite similar to a
brownish green throw rug. This grass stretched from the front of the
house all of the way to the alley. This strip of grass also served as
the borderline of her home and the next door neighbors. It was a
substitute for a fence that commonly signals as the end of one
property, and the beginning of another. For a brief moment I figured
that I would cut myself a break and let the neighbors handle this part
of the cleaning. "It’s just as much their responsibility as ours" I
thought to myself, trying to give peace to my laziness. But as always,
the moral side won over. "I'm here, I exhaled, and I have the tools to
do it, so... I might as well."

I once again picked up the rake. At first glance, the project seemed
to be easier that the first. The grass seemed to be very flat, and the
thin layer of leaves would not leave me too much of a strain in the
cleanup process. But something strange occurred. I noticed that the
seemingly flat area of the grass, and the thin layer of leaves were
visually deceptive! In actuality, the grass sloped downwards towards
the middle like a valley, and the leaves were so densely packed on
top that it appeared to be a flat surface. What began as a mentally
easy task now grew in complexity. I began digging into the pile of
leaves. In doing so, I noticed something that blew my mind. At the
very bottom was a sea of freshly new and unordinary plush lime
green grass that inconspicuously lived under this bed of gunk. I
remember staring at how strange the glow of the green played off the
sun. It was the type of feeling one would get the first time boarding
a plane and staring out of the window during takeoff, or similar to
one being so lucky as to look up at the midnight sky just in time to
catch a shooting star blazing its trail in the darkness. It was one of
those moments that waked my curiosity of nature and how it worked.
I then made my way to the back yard. Not really bad, just a lot of
area to cover. I psyched myself up to this next task and was on my
way to get started when for some strange reason I felt my body
becoming nervous and slightly frightened.
This was in direct affect to a huge dog that began barking at me from
the house next door. For a moment, I nurtured the fear of this huge
and “hungry” looking beast. I subconsciously began to pull out my
white towel of surrender to calling this job a wrap. Then I thought,
"Joe this dog can't hurt you, for crying out loud it’s locked on the
back porch and shut behind that glass door, get over that bark and
finish the assignment.” I heeded to my directives and headed
towards the area of the lawn closest to where the dog was contained,
and did what I needed to do. Upon finishing this task, a wave of relief
and completion hit me , that is, until I turned around to the back yard
gate where lied an intimidating pile of old leaves that formed a
miniature mountain like shape nearly reaching the top of the fence. I
was not doing this one! Matter of fact, I realized that it gave me the
creeps just to look at.
I began to deeply plead to myself...please please don't talk me into
doing this one! It could be all types of “things” under that huge pile
of stuff. I could just imagine something small and hairy running up
my body and biting me. I don't know how it happened, but I began to
poke at the pile…nothing stirred! I poked again, (already planning in
my head a way of escape. Nothing! So with that microscopic piece of
confidence, I began to "chip" away at the project. It was amazing how
my apprehension melted with each scoop of the hand. I saw the
daunting process of a slimy leaf mountain turn into a molehill of
excitement and confidence. I was no longer intimidated by this final
feat. In time, (because by no means was this a short process) the
bags were filled to the brim with the remains that the trees left behind
during the onset of the winter season. The hardest part was done and
the celebration began as I slung those filthy bags into the alley for
the trash men to take away. Proudly I went back to report the great
news to my aunt that her worries were now over. With a slightly
raised voice I blurted, “Auntie, I finished the yard for you." She
responded by saying thank you and I then went on further to say,
"that back yard wasn’t easy though." “I know, she said, I was
watching you from the window when you were working.” I was
shocked to hear her say this because for starters it’s kind of creepy to
know that I was being watched that whole time in the backyard
unaware. But on the other hand, I was relieved that I didn't quit due
to the taunts of that silly dog. I would have regretted my aunt seeing
me give up on her. With a sigh of relief I once again gripped the
handlebars and mounted the 10 speed, proudly pedaling my way
back home. Task completed!

In the weeks to follow my Auntie Florence left a message for me at
my Auntie Carolyn’s house. "Auntie Florence said that the flowers
bloomed, she wants you to come see them". As I once again made
my way back to the house that I once so intently labored, I found
myself awestruck at the sight that was before my eyes. This barren
dirt patch that lied in the front of the house was now filled with
several types of beautiful flowers fully blossomed and ready to be
shown off to the world. I remember telling my Aunt how hard it was
for me to believe that something so beautiful came from under that
grimy layer of dead leaves.
On the way home I began to think about the beauty of that situation. I
thought of the hard work that it took to get that yard to where it was at
that moment where the flowers were at full bloom. In that moment
God began to speak to me. He had taken me through that situation
those several weeks ago to teach me a lesson. God said this to me.
The three areas of this yard Joseph, represents you. The sequence of
events during this process is of importance as well.
The front of the house is the area of your life that is presented to
people. It is what they can see about you by simply watching. These
are the things that are revealed on the outside. Although it is not a
difficult task to complete, it is necessary for you to prune your life to
where your outside reflects beauty and cleanliness. Although the
process may seem pointless, in time you will be amazed at what
blossoms from the seemingly barren parts in your life that people are
witness to. You will also be amazed to see the beauty and variety
that will reveal itself in your life.

The second area of your life is the side of the house. This represents
your relationships. There are certain relationships that you are
waiting for the other person to clean, when I have put you in the
position to do the cleaning. Though it is a project that either party
can begin, I chose you to be the one to fix it. You think that the
situation isn't that bad, and that it’s not as serious as it seems, but
the layers are thick with the past, and the time has come to dig deep
to mend your relationships. In time you will come to see the
awesome beauty that lies just beneath the surface of communication.
Relationships are very crucial to who you are, and that is why it…
like the grass, stretches from the front all of the way to the back of
the house. This is because relationships directly affect and reflect
how you are perceived on the outside, they affect your personal
life, and it serves as the blueprints of your past and the life hidden
from everyone else.

The third area of your life is your back yard; it is the private area of
your life, the place where not too many people are allowed to visit.
This area holds the secret places that must be cleaned. But beware,
the devil is just next door and he is fixed on getting you to stop the
cleaning process. But he is powerless, he is only a mere intimidation
role poised to distract you and run you away. Clear your mind and
realize that he has no real power, and that he cannot touch you.
Last but not least is the life that not even your friends and family
knows about. This is the part of your life where you don’t know, nor
welcome learning the depths of what lies underneath. This is the
hardest job of them all. This is positioned at the alley of your life
where years of garbage have entered. It has festered a mighty pile.
You must prepare yourself for the worst. Through this process of
healing, you must relinquish your fears and finish the task that you
have begun. And when you have completed this task, you will come
to realize that what seemed so difficult and scary never was a threat
to begin with.

The bags of leaves represent your “efforts” to change. Although it is
now contained, it still remains around you. If these bags are not
dumped, they will once more spread throughout your life. The alley
represents the sea of forgetfulness, cast your weight on Me and I will
forever rid you of this weight and honor you for all of your hard work
to change!
That day God spoke to me and it forever left a lasting impression. I
began to look at all aspects of what happened that day. Since God
had hidden all these lessons to be revealed to me, one particular
moment began to press me. “What did it mean for my aunt to be at
the window?” Then it hit me! The house represents me! And God
dwells in me! and even though I think that I'm all alone in the road to
healing, and alone as Satan intimidates and sets fear in my heart to
get me to give up, my HEAVENLY FATHER is standing in support on
the inside of me, watching me at the very times when I feel the most
alone!

The point where my aunt stayed with me for a period of time as I
cleaned the front yard represents the stages in life where God walks
with us openly for a season, it is the beginning stages where we need
tangible evidence that God is right there. This comes through signs
and wonders. But as we begin to mature, God begins to step back
and become less of the forefront, in order to develop our faith in Him.
As for the garage? The garage represents the store house that He has
invested in us. That whenever He gives us an assignment, He is
faithful to supply us with the necessary tools to complete the task
that is laid before us, so that we may never be unprepared. It also
serves as the confirmation that God will and does supply all our
needs. I realized the balance and necessity of the good and bad
working together in our lives…in harmony. It is the appreciation of
beauty after being released from the layers of dead leaves that causes
us to never forget that in order to appreciate life, one must go
through the process of dying, and in this stage it is the weight of the
death that actually feeds, and gives life to a brilliance that lies just
underneath. God will offer His phone call to usher in those critical
“Moments of Clarity” that are planted in the soils of our existence, in
order for US to grow!
Joseph L. Marshall
Joseph Marshall 06/25/2011 17:50

Replies:
Davidwayne Lackey 06/25/2011 20:27
Loved this Joseph. A beautifully written metaphor from a day in your life. You have talent as a writer and I love your sensitivity and open honesty.
Helga 07/03/2011 00:53
Joseph I really enjoyed it. Thank you for using your talent to teach us and encourage us.
Rhonda Knighton 07/03/2011 10:55
I am very lonley today, home with very hard cough, prayed asking for Jesus to heal me once again for unknown reasons He chose not to. I love Him so very much yet are very disappointed that He did not heal me.please pray my heart stays humble before our Lord