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Bible Questions and Spiritual Discussion
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Unsaved Spouse
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First real post besides my introduction, so here goes.
I've been married for three years, and in Japan. I know that I shouldn't have married a non-believer, and I ignored all advice telling me I shouldn't.
I pray for her, but don't see any change, but I know it's a slow process, more so with Japanese people. I listened to a message from Mark Driscoll yesterday and feel really condemned now.
I just wanna see a breakthrough, anything at all.
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yoshif8tures 07/26/2011 18:42 |
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Jake Van Horn
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07/27/2011 02:34 |
Praying with you Josiah. Just love her man. Love her when its easy and love her even more when its hard. God is great and nothing impossible through the love of Jesus Christ!!!
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David Boer
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07/27/2011 08:21 |
Amen!
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Calico
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07/27/2011 11:45 |
Hey Josiah, and brothers Jake and David who've responded (so far! ;-) ),
Josiah, let me say two things, the latter thing perhaps being more important:
Firstly, this is AWESOME advice from Jake: "Love her when its easy and love her even more when its hard."
What Jake speaks of in that concept is something similar to what a friend once offered to me. As I was struggling in my marriage, my friend sat with me and asked to consider being open to having this thought instilled in myself; the thought that "love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of actively honoring the value of another; love will ALWAYS lead to the increased benefit of both the one who is loved AND the one who loves."
This is a truth - one of the GREATEST truths - and it is one that we can find exemplified here; that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8; ESV).
Does the concept of THAT sort of love bring thoughts that our relationships are ALWAYS going to be a place of plodding, grinding obedience; one that predominantly feels harsh, negative, and full of struggle? I know it SOUNDS difficult, but it need not be experienced as drudgery, Josiah. Perhaps the concept can let the Spirit re-frame our understanding; the thought that the answer to our experiences with relational harshness, negativity and struggle will ALWAYS be love, as conceived of in the way my friend explained above.
But on to my second point: there's lots more to say here, Josiah, yet let me withhold that for a bit. You've already stated "I know that I shouldn't have married a non-believer, and I ignored all advice telling me I shouldn't," and your heavy heart sounds as if you've already heard a "diagnosis" from a few others of what you are currently facing. So I do not want to appear as "one of Job's friends," someone who tries to "explain it all to you" as you go through the midst of your dark night of the soul. Certainly I CANNOT "explain it ALL to you," anyway.
Instead, for now, let me just listen to you and where your heart is currently at, and let me encourage you to go further in your dialog with us. If I may ask of you, my friend:
Apart from the heaviness of heart that you are experiencing about your wife, above in your post you'd written "I listened to a message from Mark Driscoll yesterday and feel really condemned now." What was it that you heard, Josiah? What about the message troubles you? Perhaps, if it is possible for you to retrieve and post, do you have a link to that message? In this way, maybe I too (or rather we, too, as your DAB family) can listen along with you, and can come alongside with you and journey with you for a bit, as you walk through what you're experiencing.
Stay in touch, Josiah. This can be a wonderful dialog, both for you and for those who come to read the thread, who may glean good things from it. Write out your thoughts, and your heart, and for now we will listen.
Praying very much with you, Josiah,
Tom
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Helga
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07/28/2011 23:06 |
Josiah, never give up in loving your wife. God will often use people to change oneself. God will reveal your own weaknesses in your life and your wife will be watching you how you react in all situations. My husband is not saved and God uses him to change me. It is not easy to be a Christian but God will work out the best for you if you are willing to listen to his voice.
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