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Need Encouragement?

I need help
I am having a really hard time right now. I keep going around the same mountains over and over and tonight I have realized that alot of the issues that I have are related to my not being secure with myself. I am looking to Christ for the answers and seeking His security but I feel very insecure. I know that the answer is in Christ but I need help in finding that answer. I suffer from very severe depression and I have a hard time believing that I am of value. I am lost and very unsure what to do. Where do I go from here? I am married and my marriage is very very close to ending and it is because I can not provide the security that my marriage needs when I am not secure with myself. This insecurity has lead me to affairs, sexual immorallity, pornography all with the hope that I will feel secure in who I am. I know that this is destructive behavior but still I keep going back to the same things. I read the Bible and have been a regular in attending Church. Right now I have relocated and I am searching for a Church that challenges me and where I feel God is wanting me to be. So far I have not found one in this area. Thank you all.
Michael Marshall 06/18/2012 19:47

Replies:
Davidwayne Lackey 06/18/2012 21:15
Michael your answer is not found in a Church and relocating does nothing with your relationship or lack of with Jesus. Our God is a personal God. Draw nigh unto Him and He will do nigh unto you. Jesus takes you just as you are insecurities and all.

It is in your want that your answer is found. Do you want Jesus more than anything in this life? More than porn? more than fleshly desires? Are you willing to sacrifice all your dreams and wishes to walk with Jesus second by second? If so you need not search to find Jesus, He is already with you. If not there are no set things that you can do. No religious formulas. No advice outside of surrendering yourself wholly to the one you love, for God is love who does nothing half heartedly. He is all in and so must you be holding nothing back. Jesus held nothing back, He gave it all even unto death. That is love and that is what you need to commit to. That is the answer. That is Jesus.
Ray 06/19/2012 12:01
Well said, Davidwayne.

Michael, it helped me to realize I was in a fight for my life and more. I was in a fight for my life and the life of my family, and the kingdom. When you see your struggle as something bigger than what you get and what you want and who you are, it changes things. It makes you very important which adds to your security. You are so important that your enemy will do anything to kill, steal, and destroy you (John 10:10) and your domain. What you decide is not only about your behavior, but is about who wins a battle in the war of the heavenly realm, and who lives and dies in the spirit. While that sounds like a heavy load, it isn't. It is only magnifying how important you are and how important you decisions are. Nobody can carry that load by their own strength, so this knowledge helps in the realization that brings freedom. I am free in Christ and all I have to do is REALLY depend on him for everything.

Listen to the series "The Hope of Prayer" located here:
http://www.dailyaudiobible.com/Group/Group.aspx?ID=1000043434
It will begin to give you a small hint about what is really going on in your life and just how important you really are to the everyone.
Ray 06/19/2012 13:33
The speaker in the series above is John Eldredge. John, also, wrote a good book on this called 'Waking the Dead.' Here is an excerpt:

You Must Fight for Your Life

Until we come to terms with war as the context of our days, we will not understand life. We will misinterpret 90 percent of what is happening around us and to us. It will be very hard to believe that God’s intentions toward us are life abundant; it will be even harder not to feel that somehow we are just blowing it. Worse, we will begin to accept some really awful things about God. That four-year-old little girl being molested by her daddy— that is “God’s will ”? That ugly divorce that tore your family apart—God wanted that to happen too? And that plane crash that took the lives of so many—that was ordained by God?

Most people get stuck at some point because God appears to have abandoned them. He is not coming through. Speaking about her life with a mixture of disappointment and cynicism, a young woman recently said to me, “God is rather silent right now.” Yes, it’s been awful. I don’t discount that for a moment. She is unloved; she is unemployed; she is under a lot. But her attitude strikes me as deeply naive, on the level of someone caught in a cross fire who asks, rather shocked and with a sense of betrayal, “God, why won’t you make them stop firing at me?” I’m sorry, but that’s not where we are right now. It’s not where we are in the Story. That day is coming, later, when the lion shall lie down with the lamb and we’ll beat swords into plowshares. For now, it’s bloody battle.

It sure explains a whole heckuva lot.

You won’t understand your life, you won’t see clearly what has happened to you or how to live forward from here, unless you see it as battle. A war against your heart.

I"d suggest reading the book: http://www.amazon.com/Waking-Dead-Glory-Heart-Fully/dp/0785288295/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340130649&sr=8-1&keywords=waking+the+dead
Michael Marshall 06/19/2012 16:10
Thank you for your replies. I have read some of John Eldredge's books and I can relate with a lot of what he says. I am turning to God and seeking Him because I know that I am powerless to end this assault on my life and the lives of my family. That is why I came here to look for help and support. I know that I am in the struggle for my life and the lives of my family and it weighs very heavily on my heart and I feel so inadequate. I pray for deliverance and seek guidance from Jesus Christ and I am really struggling with these issues.

I know that I have to change and that I can only change by surrendering myself to Christ and I am doing that right now I am working through 5 devotions 4 of which deal with marriage, depression and self esteem. I know that the answers are found in the Lord Jesus Christ and that His death and ressurection are my saving grace.

Thank you for the resources and that is what I am looking for is resources to help me in this battle for my life and the life of my family.

Mike
vicki 07/21/2012 14:24
God bless you, Michael. The most important thing is a relationship with God, which it sounds like you have...Praise God! The battle is already won through Jesus Christ. I would counsil you to stay, stay, stay in the Word. The Word of God says "For the Word of God is ALIVE,and ACTIVE. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints, and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 Gods Word is SO powerful! Through prayer and reading His Word, you WILL have victory. His Word also says, "So shall my Word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11. I too have struggled with insecurity and feeling of worthlessness. But with God all things are possible. Don't give up, we all struggle with the same things in one way or another. Please keep in touch; let us know how you are doing. God Bless you,Michael.
Helga 07/24/2012 22:47
Michael, I agree with above words and pray that you take hold what Jesus offers you every day and that you are able to become that man He created. I pray that Jesus digs deep into your heart and heals you from the inside out because He died for You and me and He wants us to be free from all bondages.
Jaren Hoffman 07/25/2012 13:29
Mr. Marshall,
As a man who felt very insecure in himself about two years go, and I wasn't sure of my value either. First of all I want to tell you that you are a man, a man of strength, valor, courage and character. I know this because you belong to Jesus as I do. (remember what God called Gideon?) Secondly I believe you are suffering from a deep wound in your soul. You need to ask God to reveal the wound, as well as the lies you've been believing for so long. Renounce, reject, and bind the lies. Then, here's the critical part: You need to invite Jesus into the wound, it may be painful, but you have to go with Him into it.
God had to rip a woman out of my life due to and unhealthy dependence on her. It was extremely painful, but when I did what I'm asking you to do it was even more painful, but standing on the other side now, I can tell you it was worth it. It was worth every hurt. I spent virtually all of 2011 hurting, grieving because of the pain. But, once again it was worth it. God doesn't do anything in you with out you. I'll be praying for you man.

Your brother,
Jaren


mae osborn 08/02/2012 23:47
Marshall
God said himself
They will seek for me
and find me when they search
for me with all their hearts
You do not need a church you
are the church
One of my favorite scriptures
Is James 1:5
If anyone lacks wisdom
Let him ask of God who gives
to all men liberally and upbraideth
not. And it shall be given him
The next verse says but let him ask
in faith. This is all you need not a
building nor a man in the building
Only God can give you what you need
and break any bondage in your life
Read his word and ask Him for wisdom
I pray that as you do this you will begin
to see the chains breaking off and
the Love of God taking its place
This is when you will know what building
to go to and worship him because the spirit
in you will try the spirit of that man or
Woman of God and you will know if what they
say are of God or not
mae osborn 08/02/2012 23:50
Marshall
God said himself
They will seek for me
and find me when they search
for me with all their hearts
You do not need a church you
are the church
One of my favorite scriptures
Is James 1:5
If anyone lacks wisdom
Let him ask of God who gives
to all men liberally and upbraideth
not. And it shall be given him
The next verse says but let him ask
in faith. This is all you need not a
building nor a man in the building
Only God can give you what you need
and break any bondage in your life
Read his word and ask Him for wisdom
I pray that as you do this you will begin
to see the chains breaking off and
the Love of God taking its place
This is when you will know what building
to go to and worship him because the spirit
in you will try the spirit of that man or
Woman of God and you will know if what they
say are of God or not.
I know because it's exactly what I did
It works try it. I'm praying for you
Sincerely
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