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Need Encouragement?
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Disappointed by my closest friend when I needed him the most
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To keep things simple - I'm getting married this coming Saturday. And last night, my best man calls me to tell me he won't be attending the wedding. His explanation was that he requested off, but his boss lost his request. He's in a position where if he no-shows his work, he'll lose his job.
Normally I'd be much more sympathetic, but it's not like he's only knows about my wedding for a couple weeks. He's had SIXTEEN MONTHS to get his schedule straightened out and he couldn't get it done. He even said his boss has a tendency to screw up peoples schedules, even losing track of people requesting off at times. Then he should've kept his boss accountable and followed up on his request. I know if I were the best man in his wedding, I'd fight 'til my dying breath to be there for him. I'd go to the CEO of the company if I had to! But he's completely and utterly quit on me.
I don't have the words to describe how much this hurts. I wouldn't be where I am in my life without him. He was my best friend in school,he was closer to me than my own family was for a lengthy amount of time. He was even one of the main people that lead me to the Lord when my heart was at its hardest. But over the last couple years he's really withdrawn. He's skipped out on numerous opportunities to get together with my friends and I for 'great' reasons like "I just don't feel like it."
I don't want to carry a grudge, but I've never been more let down in my life. He says he can probably make the wedding reception, but I'm more than ready to tell him I never want to see him again. I won't be the only one - he's going to have 150+ people wanting to ring his neck at the reception!
It's even worse since I've fought so hard for him. My wife-to-be has never liked him and questioned his commitment to this wedding on a daily basis. But I always stuck up for him. He's made his mistakes but he can't - HE CAN'T screw this up! But all he's done is make a fool out of me!
Please keep me in your prayers. I'm just so angry rght now, I'm afraid if he calls me or I see him I'm going to go off the deep end (which I don' think anbody would blame me if I did - anybody but God). I just don't know what to do.
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Jim 10/26/2012 07:42 |
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Helga
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10/27/2012 05:27 |
Jim, I really feel the hurt in your heart. The disappointment. I so see myself when I was in a situation where I was so disappointed and when people came with some advise I thought, oh well you just do not know how much it hurts. But......there will be always people who disappoint you. You have trusted them, you have relied on them and then suddenly they just hurt your feelings and heart so much. The only advise I can give you and this is now from an older lady like me, forgive your friend, ask God to send you a new friend into your life who will bless you even more. Let go of hanging on this friend, rather concentrate on your new beautiful bride and ask Jesus to bless you both with new special friends.
God's ways are not ours and since your friend led you to Christ is wonderful but now there come times when you cannot live on milk anymore and have to chew hard situations.
I pray for you and please do not feel offended but I have fought so many fights in my own life and God always helped me to forgive and then to forget.
I pray for you that next Saturday will be the best day of your life......God Bless
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Laura
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10/30/2012 01:45 |
Dear Jim,
I'm praying in agreement with Helga and want to echo her suggestion to forgive your friend. Having also been in many situations in life where I've been disappointed and hurt by those I love, I want to encourage you. Take some time to enjoy your new bride and really seek God about your friendship with this person. It is true that sometimes God removes people from our lives and replaces them with someone new, but I would encourage you to seek Him before attempting to close a door that you might not be able to reopen. If he is as close to you as you say he has been over the years, the way in which to proceed is worth very careful consideration. Remember your friend's heart and don't let the enemy deceive you against him; feelings of anger and hurt make that a VERY enticing trap indeed.
I don't diminish your pain by any means, but, when you're ready, try to consider why he has changed his behavior. If someone that you know very well has started to act in such an unfamiliar way toward you, there is definitely a reason for it and it's probably not, "because I feel like it." Is it possible that he may be jealous of your upcoming wedding? Could it be that he feels like you won't have room for him in your new married life? Think on questions such as these and remember that Jesus calls us to pray for those who have hurt us because hurting people hurt people and it's clear that your friend has hurt you deeply. Praying for your friend not only helps him, but it will also help you. As you pray for him, God will heal your heart of this wound and you might be able to see things a little more clearly without the fog of pain. I hope and pray that you are able to reconcile with your friend who has been by your side for so long.
God, I pray for Jim and his friend. Father, give him courage and grace to forgive his friend as we have all been forgiven for every offense against You. Remind him, Lord, of the good times he has shared with this person and give him wisdom to weigh those positives against the negatives. Help him to evaluate his friendship through YOUR eyes. God, in Your grace, give him discernment; enlighten him to anything that his friend might be trying to deal with in his own life right now that is causing him to behave this way. Encourage Jim's heart to love the way You love. Father I pray that his friendship can come back from this and be stronger than ever before, if that is Your will. Thank You God for working on this. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Blessings.
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Yvonne Hambrick
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02/19/2013 18:21 |
Lord, You have the name that is above all names. You are Lord forever and there is no one who can challenge Your authority and power. You rule for ever and ever, and there is no end to Your Kingdom.
I bring Jim before Your throne of grace, and ask that You would look upon him with Your favor. Your word says that You give strength to the weary, so I ask that You would strengthen Jim. Bless him Lord with Your presence, and encourage his heart. Remind him of Your faithfulness and Your love that he might stand in faith against the issues that face him. I bind the schemes of the enemy to tear Jim down, and I rebuke the spirits that have been assigned to harass him. I ask You, Lord, to minister fresh strength and joy to him. I agree with Your word, that says, Your plans for Jim are to give him hope and a future. Let it be so Jesus, according to Your will. I pray in Your mighty name, Amen!
You must forgive your friend and move on prayerfully. Remeber Jesus forgave YOU!! He is still forgiving you for the thoughts you are having right now! These things that are happening are stumbling blocks,
Luke 17:1-4
Jesus said to his disciples, “Stumbling blocks are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! 2 It would be better for him to have a millstone tied around his neck and be thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
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