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Need Encouragement?
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Difficult decision
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I am 36 years old and faced with making a difficult decision about my marriage. My husband is 11 yrs older than I am but for five years has been the love of my life. I married for the first time at 22 and had my first child 8 mos later, at 28 we had our second child. My ex is a truck driver and we both realized that our lives had went in separate directions so we ended our ten year marriage. I met my husband shortly after and fell in love and I do believe it was for the first time. My husband like to drink a couple beers at night after getting off work, and on the weekends occasionally he would over do it. As the time went on the drinking got worse then to add to it an addiction to pain pills. He became at first very verbally abusive then eventually physical. I left him last summer, and he straightened up got off the pills and cut the drinking back a lot. Here recently he has began drinking even more, and if that is not bad enough, the great state I live in passed a law last year allowing the manufactures to increase the alcohol content in some beers from 5 to 8%. My husband is now drinking 24 oz 8% beers, sometimes up to six a night. He is not taking pills again that I know of but when he is drunk he is down right cruel. I know the choice I have to make but I struggle so much.. I pray each day that God will guide him back to the right path that he has strayed so far from, but it seems he stays further and further every day. I know that I have no choice but to leave but I feel so much reluctance. I do not know if it is my love for him or my fear of making it alone. I have just returned to work after being off for 2 and a half years. I lost my job in June 2010, and found it hard to find another one without a college degree, so I took the chance and went back to school. I finished this past December, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was Gods grace that put me there and got me through. Not only did he get me through but I am walking on the 17th of this month and I will be walking with a 3.92 GPA. I need to know that it is ok to leave my marriage, that I am not abandoning my husband when he needs me. I fear for my safety and for my children. My son whom is 14 has begun to stand up to his stepfather trying to protect me. My husband is 6'1" and 300 lbs, my son, who is bigger than me, is 5'4" and 120 lbs. Am I making the right choice to get out? I have already went against Gods word and divorced my first husband.
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Kimberly 05/02/2013 21:00 |
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Davidwayne Lackey
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05/02/2013 23:42 |
1Co 5:11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don't even eat with such people.
Yes, leave him and force him to get help. As an abuser and drunk he is no longer faithful as a husband or stepfather. He cheats on you with alcohol and has already abandoned you. By leaving you are not abandoning him since he has chosen alcohol as his comfort instead of you and in a real sense divorced you emotionally. By leaving you may help, by staying you don't.
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Kimberly
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05/03/2013 05:06 |
Thank you, your words have helped very much. I started listening to the DAB three weeks ago, and it seems in just that amount of time there is a difference in me. I feel a strength now that I did not before. I look forward each day to getting up and listening to the reading.
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Helga
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05/23/2013 23:24 |
Kimberly I am praying for you and to leave your husband might be hard but as Davidwayne said your husband is in love with his alcohol and the result is that he becomes someone what you never married.
I pray that God will dig deep in your hearts and that He will heal what is broken and restore what is lost.
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mrtray
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12/30/2013 19:47 |
I agree, leave him. Fear not. All the signs are there for you to leave. Congratulations on your recent graduation. Another sign Jesus will take care of you.
Tracy
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Zach
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07/09/2015 15:20 |
Hi Kimberley,
This was an old posting but I wanted to reply to you.
While I'm divorced (not by my choice) and understand that God HATES divorce, I'm fairly certain he doesn't want you or your son to be physically abused.
I think about the story when the Pharacy tried to pickle Jesus into the thoughts about doing work on a Sabbath and even though people needed to be saved, the Pharacy believed they should rest because the LAW of God stated so.
Don't allow the Laws to fool you or hold you captive.
Jesus has created a new covenant and you are under his pretection first and foremost, not just teh rules and laws.
You have lived up to your marital commitments. Your to Honor your husband and he is to love you the way Christ loved loves the Church.
Your husband has failed.
I'm not suggesting anything to seek the Lord's wisdom, he will take care of you.
I'll be praying for you.
Your brother in Christ,
Zach
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