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Need Encouragement?
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Divorce, moving, and job hunting.. overwhelmed.
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This is the first time I've posted, so hello :) I'm 31, my husband is 37, and we have a happy little 2 year old girl. We have been married for 8 years, unhappily. I do believe I knew from the beginning that I shouldn't have gotten married to him. I was not in love. I was lost. But once I had made the decision to marry, I was in it for the long haul. I gave it my all. We eloped and for a few reasons, one being that our families weren't as supportive as we had wanted them to be. I see now of course what they saw, which is a mismatched couple.
My husband is not a bad man, but is not the man for me. It has been a struggle from the get-go. Lots of lies and cheating and even some abuse. I realize by saying that you might wonder why I say he's not a bad man. I just feel that he, like myself, isn't in love and has found it difficult sharing a life with me because of that. Now that the decision has been made to divorce, I feel happy and excited about what's to come.
I have the support of my family, but they are all about tough love. My mother and sister are the most supportive, however the least able to help out financially and are the farthest from me. My father and brother are closer, however my brother believes that I should do this completely on my own which I agree to a point. My father is helpful with advice, and for that I am thankful. I have tried asking him about moving in temporarily or if he would co-sign a lease with me so that I can move closer to them (I am currently about 2 hours away from my family), but he quickly lets me know that it's not an option. So right now I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed. I have no income because I have been a stay-at-home mom since my daughter was born. I am trying to apply for jobs in a city 2 hours away, and I have no place to move. There are so many other details involving my husband and his family that are adding to it all. I just don't know how to do this. I do have a college degree, however it isn't in anything specific. I came close to getting a Plant & Soil Science degree, but instead opted to graduate early with a University Studies degree. A decision I completely regret. I have had odds and ends jobs since graduating from college in December '04. The longest being at an elementary school as a teacher's aide. So nothing that seems worth while to put on a resume.
I've been sitting here at the computer for quite a while now. I should be doing about twenty other things which will not get done because my daughter is now up from her nap.. such is life! I guess what I need are prayers for direction, guidance. Being somewhat rejected by my father and brother has hurt a lot. It has definitely left me feeling a bit unworthy. But I've always lacked confidence in myself and my abilities. So maybe what I need most are prayers that I can see myself differently. I have a positive outlook on everything except myself. I think I hit the nail on the head with that one.. prayers that I can see myself in a much more positive light!
Thank you for taking the time to read this! I love you all.
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Sara 07/10/2013 16:57 |
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Laura
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08/07/2013 13:18 |
Sara, Will keep you in prayers, you are a worthy person, you are a child of God and He loves you very much.. I believe God will provide for you and will guide you through this process. Much love...
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