Praise

what are you waiting for? 7.23.14
After the reading of the scripture, Brian said exactly what God said to me the day before while holding me to the fire. For 10 years I’ve been running from God because I didn’t want to hear Him. I did. But not really. I did. But not really. Not what He wanted to say to me. Why would I run? I don’t know. But in those ten years my son grew up under a mother who was not walking with God. My son was sacrificed for my own will. Rather than seek God’s face and hear God’s words to me, I chose to depend on myself, focus on everyone and everything else, butcher my father with my words and actions and hate, blame my son, condemn my son, despise my son. i became the evil I prayed against. I became the stumbling block to my son that I prayed against. I became everything and did everything that I didn’t want for my son. At my own hand and for my stubborn willful disobedience to God, my son has fallen into the depths of hell. What was I waiting for? What was I running from? Surrender. Obedience. Being still and acknowledging that I am NOT God. That God is my only hope. God forgive me for I continually sin and I am in the depths of hell and you are my only hope. What Brian said after the reading of the scripture on July 23, 2014 was exactly what God said to me while I was on the cutting block of his great mercy and love. Thank you Father. Thank you God.
Me O Mom 07/25/2014 07:42