WindFarm Prayer Requests

I feel so alone and lost
It's been a very long time since I've written a prayer request here, turned my back on God for a bit, I've come back, but even though I've been listening to DAB every day for a few months now again, starting up a new church and even starting a bible study on spiritual warfare, I still feel very hopeless!! I'm the only one in my family that tries to walk with my Lord now, my children and even my husband never acknowledges Him anymore or talks about prayer. My husband only prays with me when we go out to dinner only because he feels he should for my sake. Otherwise, it's never done at home or anywhere else. We were married 44 years Dec. 4 of this year. He has a problem with lying to me and it caught up to him that night of our anniversary. He felt bad, but I feel like my trust has been crushed. He's been doing this all of our married life, don't know if things will ever change. I've forgiven him, but am left with this feeling of doom. I am not comfortable when he's around, he never speaks of us or anything to me when we're together unless I bring it up, which I've done for years and I'm honestly very tired of always being the one who starts. I know all this sounds very selfish, but I feel like sometimes maybe not being here would be better. I know I've been very depressed, I work part time and that helps me to get out of my house. Otherwise, I have nowhere else to go. Feels like my world is falling apart all around me and I hate watching it happen. My emotions have been out of control, but feel I have no one to talk to. Maybe I'm looking for instant solutions, I don't know. All I know is that I feel sad most of the time and don't look forward to anything anymore like I used to. Please pray for my attitude, I know it stinks, I feel like I've been lied to and stomped on most of my life and I'm so tired of it all.
Irma 12/14/2015 10:49

Replies:
JT 12/15/2015 03:39
I'm praying for you and your husband Irma.
Dee 12/16/2015 20:24
I am praying for you
Dee 12/16/2015 20:24
Praying for you
2Corinthians10:4 12/18/2015 14:59
Hi Irma,
Sister please know you are in my prayers. You're in the right place, so lay down the expectations you have of yourself. Jesus wants to lift your burden. Just let the Word of God soak into you. That is where you will feel restoration. Every day, like a shower, let God's Word flow over you. It is living water, nourishing your body, soul, and spirit. Let the water do its work. For now, let that and the community of other believers be your nourishment. Regarding you Irma, let me tell you what is true: you are a child of the Living God, you are a new creation, you are chosen, you are His workmanship, so you are beautiful. That is what is true!

Have faith in the Son, He loves you, and He will do it! God bless you.
Irma 12/22/2015 08:45
Thank you all for your prayers, I'll admit, I'm very nervous as Christmas gets closer. These should be times when I feel the closest to my husband, but do not. He stays in his world. I will try and let the Holy Spirit 'shower' me every day, love that analogy! Sometimes I feel like nothing is happening, nothing at all. I feel as if I'm broken somewhere and I don't know how to fix it. I know God will fix it for me, but I don't know what do in the meanwhile. My job keeps me going till I get home. Then I'm alone. I know I'm not, God is with me, but I don't feel Him like I used to. That's what I miss. Thanks again for your prayers, I will keep you updated.
juan carlo abito 12/22/2015 19:25
Hi Irma, I pray that you find comfort and the grace to forgive and to let go. What was done to you was probably very hurtful, but we can look at what Jesus did for us - He loved us and forgave us even while we were sinners. We did not deserve it and yet He died and took our sins on his cross. I pray that you feel God's presence this Christmas
Irma 12/23/2015 08:07
Thanks juan carlo abito, please pray I can forgive and let go, I am having the worst time with that. I don't understand what my problem is. I feel ashamed knowing God is blessing me in so many other areas, but still can't let go with my husband. Please pray the holy spirit speaks to his heart as well. I don't know how to speak to him anymore without feeling so much bitterness. Pray God takes that away, please!!! Still feel so alone.
JULIA MI 12/23/2015 08:38
praying for you Irma
JT 12/24/2015 22:40
Continuing with prayers Irma.
Jeffrey 12/29/2015 00:19
Praying for you, Irma, in our Lord Jesus Christ. Love you